This here computer, it’s been actin’ up lately. You see, it’s got this thing called Windows update, and Lord have mercy, it’s slower than molasses in January. I tell ya, I don’t know what they put in these things, but it sure ain’t gettin’ any faster. Every time I think it is done, that little circle just keeps on spinnin’ and spinnin’. This slow Windows update just not make sense.
My grandson, he’s a smart one with these computers, he says it’s ’cause of somethin’ called “deltas” in the updates. Says it makes the download smaller. Smaller ain’t always better, I say! I’d rather have it big and fast than small and slow like a snail climbin’ a greasy pole. Just like internet, that slow internet is just like watching grass grow. Some folks tell me to use Windows update troubleshooter, what is that?
And then there’s this other thing, somethin’ about “restore” and “malicious tool”. Now, I ain’t no computer whiz, but that sounds like somethin’ you’d use to fix a broken fence, not a computer. They say it makes the updates slow, like a mule with a heavy load. Windows 10 updates are just like that. I just don’t know what is going on.
- First, they say it is slow cause of hard drive space.
- Second, they say it might be the internet speed.
- Third, they say it could be the big files in the Windows 10 updates.
They talk about somethin’ called “CDN” and “Akamai” and “Verizon”. Sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me. Like they’re speakin’ a whole different language. All I know is, this computer’s gettin’ slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. And those Windows updates ain’t helpin’ one bit.
And sometimes, after this Windows update, the whole dang computer slows down. Like it’s got a bad case of the rheumatism. I swear, these updates are more trouble than they’re worth. It’s like fixin’ somethin’ that ain’t broke and breakin’ it in the process. Why they make it so darn complicated?
Then they say maybe it is the network. I don’t know what they mean, that is just like that slow internet problem. Change a network, change a wifi, change a router…What the heck is all that? Sounds too complicated. I just want a computer that works, plain and simple. But these Windows updates, they’re just makin’ things worse.
Back in my day, we didn’t have none of this fancy computer stuff. We had a good ol’ fashioned typewriter, and it worked just fine. Didn’t need no updates, no internet, no nothin’. Just good ol’ fashioned paper and ink. Maybe we should go back to them days. Seems a whole lot simpler.
I remember one time, my neighbor, she got one of these newfangled computers. She was so excited, showin’ it off to everyone. Then she tried to do one of these Windows updates. Took her all day! She was pullin’ her hair out, I tell ya. Said she wished she’d stuck with her old computer. And I don’t blame her one bit. I know some folks say that Windows update slow is a problem, but who know?
So, here I sit, waitin’ on this here computer to finish updatin’. It’s been goin’ for hours now. I could’ve knitted a whole sweater by now. Or baked a pie. Or churned some butter. Anything would be faster than this Windows update. Well, i guess I wait and see, Windows 10 update is just a pain in the neck.
Sometimes, I think maybe I should just throw this whole thing out the window. Go back to the old days. But then I remember how handy it is to have all this information at my fingertips. Even if it does take forever to get to it. I don’t know about this Windows update, just don’t know what is going on with this.
I reckon I’ll just have to be patient. Like waitin’ for the rain to come after a long drought. It’ll come eventually. Just gotta have faith. And a whole lot of patience. Maybe this Windows update will be done someday. Maybe. Or maybe I’ll just go take a nap. That might be faster. I just don’t get it why Windows update so slow.